Upon further comment, I take back the first two requests and stick with:
"Set someone's default views to Home / Notifications / Local Timeline / Federated Timeline so that things don't seem so empty when new users, completely virgin to Mastodon, log in."
I'm going to have to make an "email@example.com" and set it as a default follow that people are welcome to unfollow and... maybe convince current users to follow it, much like the vaunted Hedonism Bot (@podcasts).
I'd also personally recommend putting together a Discord server or similar out-of-band communication method for folks who want to opt into that, as it gets useful to have if things are acting up with the server and you don't have extensive monitoring to tell you.
We are swingers, polyamorous, sex positive, nonmonogamous, kinky, and other compatible folk! We are also consent and kink aware and LGBTQIA+ inclusive.
If you're cool with all this, you can apply to join our little community by visiting www.lifeontheswingset.com/swingsetdotsocial and acknowledging your coolness and we'll let you in!