Private discussions, public discussions, it'a all good... but it's on my mind because if we aren't making a true positive difference in an increasing way it's not something I want to devote real time and passion to.
I know we've made, and make a huge difference, but I need to make decisions on how I spend my time based on family needs, financial needs, and honestly... the needs of my community.
My desire to change, my need to justify this to myself, is real and here and I need to acknowledge it.
Do I tell everyone they should join our discord and make it mostly public but wotj private and incentivized areas?
Do I consider youtube or twitch streaming?
I don't know, but staying a podcast that relies on word of mouth doesn't work for me anymore. I'm either all in on connecting with people here to make a difference or...
I'm not.
I'm less connected to my Chicago communities because I wanted (and still do) to just be me, a normal person, who is loved and judges on my relationships with people here and my actions and words here and not just reputation or past work or what I do at events or elsewhere.
I want to be me. A guy without a pseudonym who loves and respects and desires and lusts and works with and enjoys... and occasionally disagrees with and dislikes and is disappointed in people.