Hmm. I had thought that I *was* sending it from the SS instance. Clearly, I was wrong.

I have selected the SS instance in the place in my app that shows my profile. Let's see if this one comes from the swingset instance.

Yeah, new tech so sometimes we'll get unexpected outcomes. *shrug* The tech is new, but the outcomes are old! 😁

I think one difficulty here is the poverty of our vocabulary about ongoing relationships that can incorporate sex. Play, dating, marriage - seem to be the only words we can use without shame. I think that's why some folks jump to the term "polyfuckery:" because (they think) anything outside those "OK" relationships are mere "fucking," or "fuckery." Are shameful.

I have heard swinger-podcasters bridle at the label "polyamory," apparently because they think it *would* be like extending their marriage to another couple. And in a local discussion group I did hear a poly woman describe her relationship with her two men like a three person marriage - and, for her, that's what poly "is."

For example. If you want to see a play partner more than once, what do you want that relationship to be? Some want it to be, "call me some time." Some want it to be, "come over for BBQ (again) , bring the kids so they can play with ours." And some want it to be...like an extended marriage. I see that last one most often among people who call themselves "polyamorous." But I have also seen people claim that label who simply want to date more than one person.

"It sometimes feels like the language for this morphs with who I'm talking to." Yes, that puts it in an "everybody's nuts" shell!

IMHO, the real problem is that there is no "accepted" definition for these things -- yet. And I think one of the reasons why, is that many of us don't see clearly the factors that make one situation different from another.

One thing I like about LotSS is your crew's willingness to accept -- sometimes, to live -- the different "flavors" of ENM under your umbrella.

My wife and I don't quite fit in any of the usual categories. Sometimes this has hampered conversations on places like Kasadie, where "of course we all know why we're here," while the eyebrows waggle. 😏

But what we do, makes sense to us. So -- thanks for creating this new place for conversations!

Ok, let's see if I can make this work, this time.

Thanks, Dylan. I'm a podcast listener in St Louis and a Kasadie member. The handle comes from my years in nuclear-powered submarines.

I'm male, married, in my (my gosh, it's now my) late 60s. My wife and I realized, almost ten years ago, that we've never been conventionally monogamous people. And we've been figuring out what we want that to mean, ever since.


We are swingers, polyamorous, sex positive, nonmonogamous, and accepting of any and all relationship practices. We are consent and kink aware. We welcome people of color and extend a specific welcome to black and indigenous people. We accept all sexual orientations (LGBTQIA+ inclusive) and gender identities.

We discuss a lot of things here; podcasts, swinging, polyamory, kink, nonmonogamy, and sex-positivity, and we expect our users to respect general mastodon community standards surrounding using content warnings (CW) for politics, tough discussions, nudity, and graphic kink / bdsm. Viewer discretion is advised.

If you're cool with all this, you can apply to join our little community by visiting our application page and we'll let you in!